English speakers learning Polish often make the same mistakes - repeatedly, stubbornly, as if their brains refuse to accept that Polish doesn’t bend to their linguistic whims. Here’s how to stop butchering the language and start speaking properly.
1. Gendered Nouns: Stop Calling Tables ‘He’
Polish nouns have genders: masculine, feminine, and neuter. A table (stół) is masculine, a book (książka) is feminine, and a window (okno) is neuter. English speakers constantly mix these up, leading to sentences that sound like a drunk toddler’s ramblings.
2. Cases: Why ‘Kot’ Becomes ‘Kota’
Polish has seven grammatical cases, and English speakers love pretending they don’t exist. Newsflash: ‘I see a cat’ is Widzę kota, not Widzę kot. The accusative case changes the ending. Ignore this, and you’ll sound like a caveman.
Kot
/ˈkɔt/“Cat”
3. Pronunciation: ‘Cz’ Isn’t Just a Fancy ‘Ch’
Polish sounds don’t map neatly to English ones. ‘Cz’ (as in czekolada) is a sharp ‘ch’, while ‘ć’ (as in ćma) is softer, like the ‘ch’ in ‘cheese’. And no, ‘sz’ (szynka) is not the same as ‘ś’ (środa). Mispronounce these, and Poles will either laugh or stare in horror.
- Fix: Listen to native speakers. Use resources like How to Say Thank You in Polish to hear proper pronunciation in context.
- Practice minimal pairs: ‘cześć’ (hi) vs. ‘ćśś’ (shush). Yes, it matters.
4. False Friends: ‘Actual’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Aktualny’
Polish ‘aktualny’ means ‘current’, not ‘actual’. ‘Fabric’ is ‘tkanina’, not ‘fabryka’ (which means ‘factory’). Using these wrong makes you sound like a confused time traveller.
| Polish Word | What You Think It Means | What It Actually Means |
|---|---|---|
| Dres | A dress | Tracksuit |
| Ordynarny | Ordinary | Vulgar |
5. Word Order: Stop Translating Directly
Polish word order is flexible, but that doesn’t mean you can shove English syntax into it. ‘I have a dog’ isn’t ‘Ja mam psa’ 100% of the time - sometimes it’s ‘Mam psa’, because the subject can be dropped. Overusing pronouns makes you sound like a robot.
6. Swearing Like a Teenager
Yes, ‘kurwa’ is versatile. No, you shouldn’t use it every other word unless you want to sound like an angry 14-year-old. Polish has rich, creative insults - learn them properly or stick to polite phrases like dziękuję (thank you).
Polish isn’t easy, but at least stop making these basic errors. Your future self - and every Pole you meet - will thank you.
