Apologising in Italian isn’t just about muttering scusa under your breath and hoping for the best. It’s an art form - one that involves the right words, the right tone, and, occasionally, the right amount of dramatic hand gestures. Here’s how to do it properly.
The Basics: Quick Apologies
- Scusa (informal) / Mi scusi (formal) – The bread and butter of Italian apologies. Use for minor offences, like bumping into someone or interrupting.
- Mi dispiace – A step up from scusa, this one carries more weight. Ideal for when you’ve genuinely upset someone or ruined their favourite shirt.
When You’ve Really Messed Up
Sometimes, a simple scusa won’t cut it. Maybe you forgot a birthday, showed up late to a wedding, or accidentally insulted someone’s nonna. Here’s how to dig yourself out of that hole:
- Chiedo perdono – Literally “I ask for forgiveness.” This is the nuclear option. Use sparingly, and preferably with a contrite expression.
- Non volevo – “I didn’t mean to.” Pair this with mi dispiace to emphasise it was an accident, not malice.
- È colpa mia – “It’s my fault.” Brutal honesty works wonders when you’ve clearly screwed up.
The Art of the Non-Apology Apology
Sometimes, you need to apologise without actually admitting fault. Maybe you’re not sorry, or maybe the other person is being unreasonable. Italians have you covered:
- Mi spiace che tu l’abbia presa così – “I’m sorry you took it that way.” The classic backhanded apology. Use with caution.
- Era solo una battuta! – “It was just a joke!” The universal defence for when your humour backfires.
Scusarsi
/skuˈza.re/“To apologise”
When Words Aren’t Enough
In Italy, apologies often come with gestures - literally. A hand on the heart, a dramatic sigh, or even a small gift (like a coffee or pastry) can go a long way. If you’ve really messed up, consider pairing your mi dispiace with a cornetto from the nearest bar. Sugar soothes all wounds.
Bonus: How to Accept an Apology
If someone apologises to you, here’s how to respond like a gracious local:
- Non fa niente – “It’s nothing.” Casual and forgiving.
- Tutto a posto – “All good.” The Italian equivalent of 'no worries.'
- Lascia stare – “Forget about it.” For when you’re feeling magnanimous.
Now go forth and apologise with confidence. And if all else fails, there’s always polite swearing in Bulgarian as a backup plan.
