French sailors have a reputation for colourful language, blending creativity with sheer vulgarity. Whether you're learning French for fun or just want to expand your vocabulary (responsibly), here are 12 maritime curses that’ll make you sound like you’ve spent a lifetime at sea.
1. Bordel de merde!
Bordel de merde!
/bɔʁ.dɛl də mɛʁd/“Ship of shit!”
Literally 'brothel of shit,' this is the sailor’s version of 'holy shit!' Use it when things go catastrophically wrong - like when your ship hits a reef.
2. Espèce de vieux crabe
Espèce de vieux crabe
/ɛs.pɛs də vjø kʁab/“You old crab”
A salty insult for someone stubborn or grumpy. Picture a crusty old sailor refusing to change course despite storm warnings.
3. Va te faire voir chez les Grecs
Va te faire voir chez les Grecs
/va tə fɛʁ vwaʁ ʃe le ɡʁɛk/“Go get seen by the Greeks”
A maritime twist on 'va te faire foutre' (fuck off). It implies sending someone to the Greeks - historically rival sailors - as the ultimate dismissal.
4. Tonnerre de Brest!
Tonnerre de Brest!
/tɔ.nɛʁ də bʁɛst/“Thunder of Brest!”
A classic naval exclamation, referencing the port city of Brest. It’s the 18th-century equivalent of 'bloody hell!'
5. Punaise de bateau
Punaise de bateau
/py.nɛz də ba.to/“Ship’s bedbug”
An insult for someone annoying or parasitic. Nautical life was plagued with literal bedbugs, so the metaphor hits hard.
6. Ça sent la morue!
Ça sent la morue!
/sa sɑ̃ la mɔ.ʁy/“It smells like cod!”
Used when something reeks - literally or figuratively. Cod was a staple of sailor diets and notoriously pungent when salted.
7. Moussaillon de pacotille
Moussaillon de pacotille
/mu.sa.jɔ̃ də pa.kɔ.tij/“Cheap little cabin boy”
An insult for an inexperienced or useless crewmate. 'Pacotille' refers to worthless goods traded at sea.
8. Ventre de baleine!
Ventre de baleine!
/vɑ̃tʁ də ba.lɛn/“Whale’s belly!”
A curse of frustration, like being swallowed by a whale. Jonah would approve.
9. Enfin bref, comme disait l’amiral
Enfin bref, comme disait l’amiral
/ɑ̃.fɛ̃ bʁɛf, kɔm di.zɛ l‿a.mi.ʁal/“Anyway, as the admiral used to say”
A sarcastic way to dismiss someone’s long-winded story. The admiral, of course, never said it.
10. T’as le QI d’une ancre
T’as le QI d’une ancre
/ta lə ky d‿y.n‿ɑ̃kʁ/“You’ve got the IQ of an anchor”
For when someone’s denser than a hunk of metal at the bottom of the sea.
11. Filer un coup de pompe
Filer un coup de pompe
/fi.le œ̃ ku də pɔ̃p/“To give a pump’s kick”
To punch someone. 'Pompe' refers to a ship’s pump, but here it’s a euphemism for a fist.
12. Bouffon de gabier
Bouffon de gabier
/bu.fɔ̃ də ɡa.bje/“Topman’s jester”
An insult for someone who acts foolishly. 'Gabiers' were sailors who worked high in the rigging - dangerous work for clowns.
Use these phrases with caution. While they’re fun to learn, many are still offensive in polite company. For tamer French expressions, check out our guide on 15 Essential French Insults or How to Express Emotions in French.
