Gift-giving in Japan isn’t just about the present - it’s a ritual steeped in tradition, respect, and unspoken rules. Get it wrong, and you might accidentally offend. Get it right, and you’ll leave a lasting impression. Here’s what you need to know.
The Basics of Japanese Gift-Giving
Gifts (贈り物, okurimono) are exchanged frequently in Japan - for holidays, visits, and even as small tokens of gratitude. The act is as important as the item itself.
- Presentation matters: Gifts are almost always wrapped, often in decorative paper (washi), and handed over with both hands.
- Modesty is key: Downplay the gift’s value, even if it’s expensive. Phrases like “It’s nothing much” are common.
- Reciprocation expected: If someone gives you a gift, you’re generally expected to return the favour later.
Essential Gift-Giving Phrases
どうぞ
[do̞ːzo̞]“Please (accept this)”
The standard phrase when handing over a gift. Simple, polite, and universally understood.
つまらないものですが
/tsumaranai mono desu ga/“It’s nothing much”
A humble way to present a gift, downplaying its significance even if it’s thoughtful or expensive.
お心づくし
/okokorozukushi/“A token of my gratitude”
Used when the gift is a small gesture of appreciation, often in formal or business settings.
Never say “Open it!” - gifts are often opened later, in private, to avoid putting the recipient on the spot.
Gifts to Avoid
Some items carry cultural taboos or unlucky connotations. Steer clear of:
- Sets of four: The number four (shi) sounds like “death.” Avoid four items or gifts wrapped in sets of four.
- White flowers: Associated with funerals. Stick to bright, cheerful colours.
- Sharp objects: Knives or scissors symbolise cutting ties. Even if the recipient is a chef, wrap them carefully or avoid altogether.
Occasion-Specific Gifts
| Occasion | Common Gifts | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| お歳暮 (Oseibo) | Food, alcohol, household items | Year-end gift for colleagues or superiors |
| お中元 (Ochūgen) | Fruit, tea, sweets | Mid-year gift, often for business contacts |
| 結婚式 (Kekkonshiki) | Money in special envelopes (shūgi-bukuro) | Avoid odd-numbered amounts (except for 30,000円) |
Receiving Gifts Gracefully
When someone gives you a gift, the response is just as codified as the offering:
- Accept with both hands and a slight bow.
- Say arigatō gozaimasu (thank you) or osoreirimasu (a more formal expression of gratitude).
- Don’t open it immediately unless prompted.
If you’re unsure about a gift’s appropriateness, err on the side of caution. A well-chosen department store gift (like high-quality fruit or tea) is almost always safe.
For more on polite customs in other cultures, see our guide to Polite Greek Manners.
